To much of my life's been spent looking back, on things that I didn't do and chances that I've had and basically it's just a waste of time. You can't change these things, and to live your life on if's and but's is just pointless and stopping you moving forward!
Well no more haha.
I follow Jared Leto on twitter and I saw this status he posted:
"First day of the year. What are doing right now to make sure your dreams become your reality?"
It's not just my art/ career I want to change. It's me in general. I feel like I am getting abit more confident or maybe that's just me feeling more comfortable with who I am for a change! I'm pretty much happy with how I look (well I've got to the stage where I think fuck it, this is what your stuck with-work with it LOL) I think I'm a nice girl, but there's still work to be done! I'm abit of a door mat - that definitely needs to change! I give and give and get very little back. I've been ill alot this year too, probably more then I've noticed before- maybe its old age creeping in I don't know haha but I think it's been stress related.
I've been listening toalot of music while painting and one song keeps popping up, enimen- not afraid. The lyrics have been speaking to me........
"But I think I'm still trying to figure this crap out,
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't,
this fucking black cloud,
Still follows, me around but it's time to exorcise these demons,
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now! ...
And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now! (now)"
They pretty much sum up what I'm hoping to change about myself this year. In fact it's spot on lol.
So my new years resolution is not to worry so much! I believe in everything happens for a reason so why stress when things are going "Wrong" because there not wrong, there just taking me down a different road!
I would love to be writing a blog at the end of the year telling you all that I did everything in my power to make things happen!
Before I leave I would love to start the new year saying a massive thank you to everyone who reads this blog and writes to me on twitter, your support and words of encouragement have both helped me and overwhelmed me at times, so THANK YOU!!!
Hope 2013 brings you all the love, luck and happiness you deserve, have a good one you lovely lot :)
If you have any ideas to help me out or maybe share your wishes for 2013 leave me a comment below :)
Take care and don't be a stranger!
Current mood: optimistic!
Now listening to: Shake it out- Florence and the machine.....well its how I'm feeling right now, I'm shaking off my demons lol.
The Short Artist's awards!
One word to sum up 2012.... Rollercoater! The year started off ok, got emotional in the summer for good reasons (makes a change) then got shitting by the end of the year :(
Song of the year:...... Either Fun we are young or Stay -Rihanna
Album of the year..... Who else but the Killers- battle born! I waited ages to get my hands on there new Album and it didn't disappoint.
Worst song of the year.......Girl on fire- Alisha keys or Call me maybe- Carly Rae Japsen Girl on fire I can't even tell you why I don't like it, it just grates on me lol and call me maybe is so bloody catchy!!!
Highlight of the year....... Gotta be the Olympics and Paralympics! That was a once in a life time moment for us brits to witness. I cried so much in that one summer through joy and pride, I was exhausted lol.
Personal highlight of the year....Erm I'm struggling for a stand out moment from this year but I think just the way my family and I have stuck together and laughed in the face of our problems really :)
Hero of the year....... So many choices this year, do you go for the queen? 60 years on the throne and still going strong. or Boris Johnson? the guys just hilarious! or any of the Olympicians? I'll narrow it down to 3. From my real life- the Quick Ladies- mum and Emma for going smoke free- yay!! and From the world of celebrity I'll go for Bradley Wiggins, he won the tour de France and won gold at the London Olympics- all with a couldn't care less attitude, which I loved.
Sports star of the year.....Again I could choose so many but I'm gonna go for a top 3!
Number 3: Gemma Gibbons- I normally wouldn't care about Judo but she was bloody amazing gaining that silver medal and when she looked up to the sky and whispered "I love you mum" it broke my heart! Number 2: Mo Farah - I've always been a big fan and my family cheered so loud when he won he's double gold medals! and Number 1: Fernando Alonso.....Come on you knew it was gonna come Lol. He thought so hard this year and never gave up, so to get 2nd in the championship was amazing, especially as it was so close!
Comeback of the year: .......Kimi Raikkonen who else! I've always been a massive fan so I was super excited for him to return and to get 3rd in the championship proves he hasn't lost it LOL.
Villain of the year.......Victoria Pendleton- I just don't like her LOL closely followed by my dad- he's been a total arse this year but then that's not surprising!
Twitter person of the year.........I could name so many of you guys that I've had fun with this year or that have encouraged me but I'll give it to the lovely Claire @button_rose1985, We have had THE most girly chats this year, everything from boys to fashion to stalkers LOL and she's opened my eyes to a world of fanfics- some I'd rather forget :P
Unsung hero of the year...........Miss Chloe @mama_plus2! What this girl does is incredible! I won't go into details as I know she won't like that but she's amazing and doesn't get the credit she deserves.........plus I know she reads this LMAO :P
and finally Crush of the year (those crushes you didn't even realize you had lol)........ Mines number one, Mark Cavendish -Ok so I might have always seen him as "that hot cyclist" but when he was with Jake for the cycling I think I paid more attention to him then the races lol. Those eyes, that smile- just makes you melt! And crush two - Jon Richardson- this kinda just creeped up on me LOL he was always someone I could relate to- always single, bit OCD etc but this year I think it's turned into a full blown crush!! even my mum calls him my future husband or long lost twin lol.
Your turn now guys, join in...................