I've started to feel my blogs have become a bit moany and all "poor me my life sucks" so to lighten the mood, I thought it would be fun to get you guys involved! 
Thanks to tucker for inspiring me wit this blog. 
I'm a huge music fan and music inspires or helps me through alot of stuff. So I thought what better way to get to know all you blog readers then through something I love. It's kinda a music quiz/interview.  I'm gonna ask myself some questions (involving music) and answer them, then you guys can do the same :)
Ok so here goes:
1. Which song would you say best describes you?
Deffo got to be I'm just a girl by No doubt. These lyrics "the moment that I step outside, so many reasons for me to run and hide, I can't do those little things I hold so dear, cause its all those little things that I fear" pretty much sum me up, don't you agree? well the whole song really.  plus I love that song :)
2: What song would you say is your life story?
As you know I'm just a touch pessimistic so I've always said Travis- Why does it always rain on me? is my life put to music! I'm pretty sure I lied when I was 17 too Lol
3: Which song changed your life in anyway?
I know you might think I haven't had a song that has changed my life, no song has meant quite that much to me, but it could be a song that has just flicked a switched in your mind and changed even a tiny thing. 
My song is This grudge by Alanis Morrissette from the so called chaos album. I was a huge Alanis fan and around the time this song came out, we were having trouble with my sister Emma and I was finding it to forgive and forget. I didnt want to let her in incase I got hurt all over again but I heard these lyrics "but who's it hurting now? who's the that's stuck? who's it torturing now?"  and I thought your right, I'm the one suffering by not letting go! I'm pleased to say it worked we're now super close and I have my sister back! Thank you Alanis!! see life changing song :P
4. What song never fails to cheer you up?
Mines Tenacious D- Tribute. If you haven;t heard this song, its Jack black and it's funny. This song always makes me think of my other sister Lee, we both have the same silly humour and are quite hyper when we're together and this is one of our fav silly songs :)
5: Which cheesy/embarrassing song can you not help but love?
For me its deffo Love shack by the B52s LOL so cheesy, so strange but I can't help but sing along. I'm not ashamed to say that, while painting, when they sing "bang bang bang on the door baby, knock a little louder sugar etc" I do mime knocking on a door :P
6. What song makes you cry?
Nickleback- Lullaby. I don't know what it is about the song but it gets me every time. The first time I heard it I was really down and getting over the death of my uncle and everything felt like it was piling up. I remember hearing it and tears were just running down my cheeks, all I could think was I wish I had someone to sing those words to me, someone who just wanted to try and take the hurt away. It still makes me cry!
7. What lyric pulls you through a rough patch?
For me its "I never really gave up on, breaking out of this two-star town, I got the green light, I got a little fight, I'm gonna turn this thing around" it's from The Killers- read my mind. Whenever I feel like giving up on my dreams this just pops into my head and I think I have got a little fight, keep going Donna lol.
8. What song do you find yourself having a little sing-a-long and boogie too?
I know I always say I'm a rock chick and I really am a massive rock fan but my song is Kesha- we are who we are! I also sing along and dance to it. While its playing and i'm alone I have a little dance while making a drink or walking upstairs etc lol.
9. Have you ever sang a song on stage? if not whats your karaoke song?
I don't do karaoke, I wouldn't inflict this voice on anyone, my singing's saved for when im locked in the studio with my easel but I did once perform Who do you think you are by the spice girls, well I say performed- we mimed! It was the last year of school and me and 4 friends dressed  up as different members of the spice girls and performed the routine in a friends living room for her family :P I was posh spice purely because I had the bob haircut and a top and shirt quite like her lol 
10. Finally what song would you dedicate to me?
Might sound abit vain (and i'm not) but it's really just an excuse to dedicate a song to you guys. My song for you all is Kelly Clarkson- My life would suck without you. A little bit cheesy to say I know :P The title speaks for itself really but you guys really help me through so much, you give me advice, you pick me up when my spirits are low and more importantly make me laugh :) so cheers guys :)

Now I've done mine, I'd love it if you could comment with your answers :) thats where the getting to know you bit comes into it :P  don't worry you don't have to have an anwser for every question or make it as long as this. Just as long as you share with me I don't mind LOL :)
If you all liked this and enough people respond, maybe we could do more or similar?
I'll leave you to think with some music enjoy!
Till next time bye 
Donna  xxxxxx
read tuckers blog here  http://jtdougan.blogspot.com The guy that inspired this blog

Hi everyone! sorry I've been neglecting my blog again but I half decided to take a break and was half busy.
So since my last moany blog what have I been upto? 
Well I'm almost at the end of my 6 weeks break from work. Gotta love long school holidays :P  In this time I've been on holiday and been inspired and distracted by the Olympics. 
The first two weeks before my holiday was spent shopping, painting and Olympic watching of course.  
Wasn't the the Olympics amazing! Right from the opening ceremony to the closing ceremony I was hooked! Not surprising as I'm a massive sports fan! What did surprise me was how emotion I got throughout the whole thing, everyone from Mo and Jess winning gold to the disappointment of those going home empty handed . Alot of those rowers had me in tears, Kath grainger finally achieving her dreams left sobbing lol. I was also inspired to get my act together to go for it and follow my dreams. The whole Olympics left me feeling proud and sent me off on holiday feeling good. 
For my holiday I only went to Felixstowe with the family but it was break I really needed. We choose the right week for it, the weather was perfect!!!! So hot I actually got sunburnt LOL. My legs should be in amazing shape as we walked everywhere. From one side of the of Felixstowe to the other and back in 5 hours haha. All of our right shoulders got sunburnt, we were thinking its ok on the way back it'll caught the other side, noooooo of course it didnt! So red right shoulders all round for us Quicks  We had alot of laughs and fun. Me and my sister Lee are non swimmers but actually braved the sea for a little dip then had to brave a shower together as we were covered in sand lol. Strange experience that was let me tell you :P I felt so much more like I could be myself in Felixstowe, maybe it was because no-one knew me but all the fears went away! So much so I wore a bikini for the first time in 29 years on the beach!!!!! next to my sister in her bikini, any of you that have seen her will know what I mean there LOL.  
After such a fun break we returned to find out our cat had been WAY over fed and had been given dinner 3 times in one day! Someone had been in my mums bedroom and moved things around. My other sister Emma even had to clean up our living room as she said there was crisps and crumbs all over the floor! We certainly didn't leave it like that. All this is from leaving a family member to pop in and fed the kitty!
Anyway enough of me going on, sorry if this blogs abit disjointed, i think it might be the worst i've written but I got distracted by the paralympics opening ceremony lol
Hope you guys are all good, I'm just gonna upload some pics then I'm off to start the second part of my blog that will need your feed back :P hehe
bye guys catch you soon with a better blog :P
Take care Donna xx 

Well what a bloody week! 
Ive been so stressed this week! Mainly over nothing but everything's piled up kinda like a big snowball effect. Each thing feeling more and more annoying then the last!
I kinda feel like nothings happened but at the same time I feel like I cant take much more. Just down and moody, cant sleep and when I do sleep Ive dreamt of being mugged and burgled! whats that all about!!!???!
Now it looks like my bad mood spread to Silverstone! Thank fuck its the weekend!
Anyway I wont go into details of whats happened coz as I said theres nothing really thats happened much, just a mood I cant shake! 
Anyways onwards and upwards Ive decided to try and cheer myself up with a side project lol! Its called "find a smile in everything" I'm planning on taking photos of anything that makes me smile or has a smile on it, below is my first two photo lol you can see the other here http://www.flickr.com/photos/76619879@N04/sets/72157630462590368/ 
So thats it for now, because I'm watching F1 qualifying and have painting to do, but just wanted to check in LOL.
Until next time, take care guys and fill me in with your week, has it been good/bad? I wanna know lol.
BYE Donna xxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Its been awhile since my last blog, but I was kinda busy and forgot LOL.
Sorry :P

This blog is about birthdays, half term, new starts and slip ups. so a mixed bag today :P So i'll take you through my week and a bit!It's finally half term but as the title shows it's been far from relaxing! Since my last blog there's been three birthdays. My future bro-in-laws (4th of June) my sisters (6th of June) and my baby aka my art website http://dmquicksart.weebly.com/ (22nd of May)  
I'm so pleased my website is a year old now. I've had over 8000 views and two commissions! I don't think that's too bad for an unknown shy little artist, who hasn't been in any galleries :) Continuing with my positive thinking, I'm hoping to AT LEAST  double that by this time next year :P I did decide to paint my studio as a present to myself and my website lol.
For the other two birthdays I made two more cakes. Thought I'd try out something different, so I made a cake sculpted in the shape of a car, based on a lotus, with the Stig. That was for the bro-in-law's 26th and a handbag shaped cake for my sisters 25th :)  I was in a bit of a panic as I ordered the fondant icing online, luckily they made it on time!
After four busy nights smelling off icing and cake I had to squeeze in abit of shopping too. On the way home from one trip, I did manage to trip up my own foot :P Thankfully there was no-one apart from my mum to see me do it and I did stay on my feet!
It was worth all the hassle when the shopping and cakes were done!
Shopping once again was good for me, no panicking, no anxiety, so I'm pleased with that! 
Scott's party was first, on Monday. He's family of course was there, which was the downside but after they left it was ok. He's dad and new girlfriend again spent most of the evening groping each other in the kitchen! But the plus side was we could shut the door and the only children there was my nieces and little Link! Scott liked hes cake and it was mostly fun.
Tuesday we had the middle two girls, Rosie and Angel, while Emma and Scott went out. We were meant to have had Ruby too but she was naughty lol. We had a fun day in the park in the rain, me being a slide monster, chasing them around! then we continued the fun at home, when I scared Angel so much she said and I quote "I need a poo" lol at least she was still laughing :P All i was doing was jumping up at our door, which is like a saloon door. They were one side,, I was the other and I was just pretending to be our dog scaring them LOL!
That left me just that night to make Emma's birthday cake,  thankfully i did it haha.
Wednesday came and my sister had been told she would be babysitting Scott's soon to step bros and sisters! 3 lil brats. They were at hers from 10am til 9pm!!!!!!!!!!! wow what a present. They eat all the party food, walked around like they owned the place and just generally were annoying! the girl hurt my sisters dog, bossed the girls around and got Isabelle out of her walker and passed her to ruby, whose too little to hold her properally. The youngest boy kept trying to hurt izzy and link, hogged the just dance game, jumped in most of my photos and stole MY camera of the girls to take photos! out of 197 photos there's now only about 40 that remain lol. the biggest was ok just bossy. All in all they pissed us all off and Emma has said never again. Who can blame her :( Scott's sister (the one I dont like) was there with her husband and kids too, so i was having the best time ever! all in all there was about 20 people spread between one living front and the kitchen! I stood kinda half way playing with Rosie but I could feel myself getting into a bit  of a panic.  So I went up-to the toilet just to escape for a few minutes and tried to get a grip. When I came down I saw my mum standing there asking if I was ok and I just started crying. I HATE crying :( really really hate it! I just felt so stupid that it was effecting me and so annoyed that I had came so far this year! It felt like a step back and I'm sat here on thursay, still annoyed about it. I know I'm going to have little set backs but it's actually annoying me much more then it ever did before. Must be a sign that I am determined to get over this now. Just wish my body would catch up with that wanting.  The only good thing to come from it was my little sister told be she was sorry for not getting it before! As now shes been struggling with the same problem for a few weeks.  I just said now you know why it hurt so much for you to tell me just get over it! Not that I wish feeling like that on anyone, but you do need to feel like it to understand! We escaped for 10 minutes to Tesco with angel :) I know its strange to go to the shop to escape if your names Donna haha :P  When we returned the other sister had finally left and me and Lee jumped on the just dance and had a laugh LOL.
So for the rest of this week, I'm planning on relaxing, well after I've brought a new canvas, gave the studio a second coat and moved all the furniture back in there. Then it'll probably be back to work time :( wow where did my week go! 
What have you guys been upto? Did you have a street party for the jubilee? I watched the concert but my street don't really do the neighborly friendly thing LOL.
Fill me in with your news!
Anyway, reading this back, I dont think its my best blog ever, it's a bit jumpy and disjointed, but hey that sentence pretty much sums up my week and feelings haha!
So I'll leave you now, hoping you've had a much more chilled, fun, long bank holiday and hope you share your new with me :) I'm off to watch hostel haha!
night guys xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This is a special little blog post tonight. 
I always tend to focus on the negative so I thought I'd take this opportunity to focus on what matters to me! So this blog is my way of saying thanks!

As you guys know I have an ongoing problem, that I struggle with. One that I never opened up and shared with anyone. I didn't want to admit to myself that I had a problem, let alone anyone else! I thought people would just think I was an idiot. 
Mum said she always knew something was wrong, she's great at reading the signs on a bad day and knowing when I've had enough. She's been a great support. Patient through all the tears and sick. She's run to the shop to buy emergency Imodium just to get me to leave the house. She even turned me puking on some guys car into a joke (the bloke was sitting in it btw) lol. She's my rock and my best friend. I'd be lost with out her  :)
My other family support is my sister Emma (mother of my gorgeous nieces) Now this support shocked me because we didnt always get along. It took years and took me dropping my grudge, but we're finally close :) 
Emma's been great, she's like mum saying "come on nothings gonna happen to you, they'd have to get through us first" There the kind of support that don't let you take the easy way out and wont leave me behind. Even through Im forever keeping them waiting when we're off out. More then that Emma tells me "It's nice to have you actually out with us for once" Which is always nice to hear. They're both proud of what I call "stupid achievements" like mangering to go to shopping and that means alot. They both mean the world to me, not that I tell them enough. Until now ::P
I'd love to tell you all my family are this supportive but I'd be lying. I'd say the rest don't see this as a problem. They see me as a drama queen, who needs to grow up and get over it. Easier said then done right!? At least that's what I feel like they're thinking. They don't realise quite how hard I find normal every day things that they find so easy! If I don't want to go to places, I'm just being lazy or boring. It hurts that they don't get it, get me, but I'll live and focus on the ones that do!
Which brings me onto my final thank you.
My twitter family. When I first joined twitter I never really tweeted anyone and think I just joined to see what all the fuss was about. I certainly didn't expect to be opening up to a bunch of strangers or even writing this blog! I thought you'd all laugh at me and think what a freak *presses the unfollow button* 
A certain Miss C inspired the blog writing, so you can blame her for all my rambling lol. Now I get why she loves it so much and how it can actually help you. So thanks hun :) 
The support you guys have shown me, with tweets and messages about this blog, has been overwhelming. Your support mixed with my family, is really helping me push myself. It's funny because one of my biggest fears is essentially what I'm doing here! Talking to a group of strangers! Some have you have even shared your problems with me and it means alot that you'd confined in me too.
Last year a group of the F1LunchClub followers wanted to meet up at silverstone. I lied when I said I couldnt go because I was working. It was my anixety and the whole group thing that stopped me, but who knows maybe in a year or two that might be a reality. Or even better the opening of my own exhibition, in some swanky galley. I'd love that! :)

Anyway I've rambled enough, I just wanted to let you all know that I very much apperiate all the back up I get :) 
YOU GUYS ROCK!!! 
Love a very grateful Donna xxxxxxxxx 

So I decided to write a double headed blog tonight.
Just to paint a nice picture for you, I writing this eating a bowl of cereal, dressed as a chav- with hoodie and trackie bottoms, trying to fight off a puppy, who keeps sitting on my head! So If this doesnt make sense then blame Bear lol.

I thought I'd share a progress report with you first :)
As some of you might know I recently had a big challenge to overcome and was wondering if I was on the road to recovery or not.  Well I don't know if I'm recovered just yet but I feel 10 tens better so far. 
I 've found myself talking to people at work that I might have just said Hi to before. Actual long conversations!! Which might sound like nothing to you "normal people" but to me its huge lol. I mainly just feel like I have abit of a spring in step and like I'm finally regaining confidence, that I don't think I've had since before college! I need to test myself by going shopping or a day out in the park (without panicking) but first I'm gonna need some sun, or at least no rain, and to get over this cold!  But hey it's a start, remember baby steps :)

The second part of my blog is entitled "what a cheek!" and well I'm pretty sure you may agree when you've read what happened lol.
It was my nieces 4th birthday. I was a tiny bit apprehensive about going to her party because my bro-in-laws side of the family were actually going to be there. My side of the family haven't spoken to he's sister for almost a year. Not after she tried to get my fired from work!!! Long story short, he son started in the school i work at and has allergies, i mentioned to my sister that he hadn't eaten hes lunch and that the sis was told she had to be there, to see what he was eating. Her dad over heard, moaned at her and she marched into the school, accusing me of gossiping about her and her son! this was from the women who a week earlier had spoke to the head teacher like we were family, saying how nice it will be having someone to look out for him!  Anyway there was a few other problems and June last year, it erupted in a war of the families at a party! She avoided just about any party from then on! lol. Suited us :P
Fast forward to April 25th 2012 and here we are at Angels party, being warned by my bro-in-law to behave!  Us Quick's were nice and polite and spoke when she spoke etc. Angel opened  all her presents, had loads of fun and said can we do the cake now please. Now I made her a birthday cake, Disney Tangled themed. The sis then says "can I take a picture of your cake coz my lily would love that".  She then showed me a photo of a cake she had a friend make, for her other daughters party, telling me how much it was and how ugly it was, how inedible and how I could make a fortune out of mine. I just nodded and said thanks. I then overheard her saying to my bro-in-law "do you think you could do something like that for me?" he replied " I could try" by that time they were literally standing next to me and she whispered "oh you could just ask her for me" i almost feel off my chair in disbelief!!! you try to get me the sack, ignore me for a year and want a bloody favor. Do I look like a doormat!!! What would you guys do?? my bro-in-law reckons if she pays me I SHOULD do it, but out of principle i couldn't! Just think what I could slip in the cake lol!!! I'd make the news :P

On the plus side I've finally got loads of yummy fruit and veggies growing in my mini greenhouse, but more on that another day ;)Oh and before I go the lovey tucker on twitter (great blogger and short story writer)  interviewed me for hes blog, i was honored to be ask  and follow him on twitter  @icetuckerV2 
For now I'm signing off.
Bye from a chavy Donna xxx

Below is the cake and the birthday girl Angel.      

I've been meaning to write a blog all week but just not got round to it. So here it is.
Your probably looking at this title thinking "what have you been ill?" my answer would be "in a way, I guess" As some of you might know, I suffer from anxiety attacks and kind of a fear of crowds of people. I've let it run my life quite alot. I've missed funerals, hen nights, work meetings. I don't go on dates and avoid being stuck with new people like the plague! 
It makes me feel like a freak and I'm forever saying to my family "I just want to be normal, at least just feel normal" It really really gets me down. I've been offered hypnosis by my uncle and have considered going to the doctors to seek help, but how can I do that when the thought of going there makes me feel ill! Also I'm determined to make myself better on my own. I'm turning stubborn lol. Don't worry this isn't going to be a really negative post. 
As the title would suggest I think I've made steps, yay!! 
Monday I had a course to do for work and to say I was dreading it would be an understatement! The last time I was in a massive group of strangers like that, was college. When on the fist day I was in the corridor and some dickhead (JP Goodard yes u) refused to call me Donna, I was just called Sick girl for half a year. Maybe that was the starting point of my problems.
I spent the weekend feeling dreadful. I had the nieces round and wasnt in a very fun auntie mood. I was psychically sick and was in full panic mood. By sunday night I was at my worst and hitting the Imodium and throwing up! gross I know but I'm just painting a picture for you all lol. I was wishing I'd wake up with some bad illness or could find a way to clone a more confident me and send them instead lol. But no such luck :(
Monday morning came and to my surprise I didn't feel nervous or scared, I did say to my mum "I wonder if a car could just hit me a little bit, not enough to injure me, but enough to shake me up so they send me home" lol but that was just in fun. As i cycled towards burnt mill secondary school (where the course was being held) I must admit I felt myself getting slower and slower. as I walked through the gate I did get a flash of OMG turn around I cant do this!!! run run!!! but I thought if I quit now they'll just reschedule it and I'll have to go through all this again. I walked into the huge reception area and thought do you know what, this isnt too bad! When I turned up to the small classroom there was 21 other women, mostly from burnt mill, and I took my seat and was fine. I listened to hour apon hour of food safety stuff, learnt all about bacteria's and all that great stuff. I even had to do an exam at the end! Lunch came along and the thought of making small talk with these strangers made me feel a little iffy but I did it, I GOT THROUGH IT!  I even bumped into a old college friend who i haven't seen since I was about 18! we eve had a little chat lol.
Those six hours left me feeling so good! this whole week I've just felt like yay I conquered a HUGE fear. I dunno if I'm cured but its a big step forward. I kinda feel like I could go shopping on my own and chat to more people. In fact just today (Friday) I was chatting away to a women at work, that I never talk to, like we've been friends for ages!  I really really REALLY hope this is the road to recovery. I've got to try and remember that my imagination is so much worse then reality and just not freak out. I'm not getting any younger and I want kids. Thats not gonna happen while I'm like this. I need  my life back and I need it back now.  
What do you reckon? road to recovery or not? Leave me a message to see what you think :)
I'd love to hear from you guys! I kinda feel proud of myself, I know it's really stupid and shitty to feel proud about going to a course but I do lol :P
Who knows maybe in a few months time I'll be blogging about a fabulous date I had or exciting places I've been! heres hoping lol.
Take care and speak soon a very happy Don xxx